Jim Rohn, succinctly and eloquently talks about action…and taking action.

And for the most part I agree with him…so many of us don’t take action..we think great thoughts, we day dream, however we don’t act.

What are you putting off doing today, that is diminishing your future successes?

Have you put in place a foundation to create success?  If not, why not?

I would be most interested to hear what you have to say.

The Time to Act by Jim Rohn

Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability to take action. You don’t need to be hasty if it isn’t required, but you don’t want to lose much time either. Here’s the time to act: when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.

Let’s say you would like to build your library. If that is a strong desire for you, what you’ve got to do is get the first book. Then get the second book. Take action as soon as possible, before the feeling passes and before the idea dims. If you don’t, here’s what happens…

You fall prey to the law of diminishing intent.

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can’t be found.

So take action. Set up a discipline when the emotions are high and the idea is strong, clear, and powerful. If somebody talks about good health and you’re motivated by it, you need to get a book on nutrition. Get the book before the idea passes, before the emotion gets cold. Begin the process. Fall on the floor and do some push-ups. You’ve got to take action; otherwise the wisdom is wasted. The emotion soon passes unless you apply it to a disciplined activity. Discipline enables you to capture the emotion and the wisdom and translate them into action. The key is to increase your motivation by quickly setting up the disciplines. By doing so, you’ve started a whole new life process.

Here is the greatest value of discipline: self-worth, also known as self-esteem. Many people who are teaching self-esteem these days don’t connect it to discipline. But once we sense the least lack of discipline within ourselves, it starts to erode our psyche. One of the greatest temptations is to just ease up a little bit. Instead of doing your best, you allow yourself to do just a little less than your best. Sure enough, you’ve started in the slightest way to decrease your sense of self-worth.

There is a problem with even a little bit of neglect. Neglect starts as an infection. If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease. And one neglect leads to another. Worst of all, when neglect starts, it diminishes our self-worth.

Once this has happened, how can you regain your self-respect? All you have to do is act now! Start with the smallest discipline that corresponds to your own philosophy. Make the commitment: “I will discipline myself to achieve my goals so that in the years ahead I can celebrate my successes.”

We all know what is good for us, don’t we?

We all know that if we exercised more, ate better, laughed and played more and were more curious about life, obsessed and ruminated less, that life would be simpler and that we would be happier and healthier..so, why don’t we do what we know that we should do? Or how come we lose that 10 kg, only to put it back on again?

Have you ever thought that you might not be ready for change? That you have been through the “motions”, but not really truly wanted or believed that you could change?

Before changing any behaviour, ask yourself these four basic questions…

1. Why do I want to change this behaviour (pros)
2. Why shouldn’t I try to change the behaviour? (cons)
3. What would it take for me to change the behaviour? (what is my strategy to overcome my cons?)
4. How will my new life look or be?

Change it is said, by Dr James Prochaska, happens in 5 stages, whether you manage that change quickly or slowly.  The addition of NLP, Hypnotherapy within coaching can accelerate and improve upon the success rate of change, however, change still usually occurs in this 5 stepped approach.

Firstly there is the “I wont” or “I can’t” stage.

Those in the “I won’t” camp are not interested in changing because they do not feel that they have a problem.

Then “I can’t” people would like to change, but they don’t believe it is possible.

Is this you?

Stage 2 is the  “I may do it” stage is when you are thinking about changing an unhealthy behaviour, or are considering taking action sometime in the near future.

When you reach the “I will do it” stage, your “generally” ambivalent feelings have largely been overcome and you are beginning to think of possible solutions, discarding those that will not work for you.   Like, “no, I won’t go swimming (‘cos I hate getting my face wet)  but I can go for a morning walk”

“I am doing this”, is where you are beginning on working on new relationships with new behaviours leading to new habits.

Lastly, is the “I am still doing it” stage where the new behaviour change becomes a habit and is done automatically. You are now more confident within your new set of behaviours, and though there are the occasional risk that you may go back to old behaviours, on the whole, you know the benefits of the change,and are less likely to do so.

So, what leads to successful change of behaviour? It is the pre emptive “dream” stage, where the goal or vision becomes a tangible reality. Unless, your goal or vision is wired into a cellular level, the maintenance of change becomes too hard…and old behaviours re establish themselves.

So, what has this got to do with you?

Before you even begin on the pathway to that better diet, that course of study, that new relationship, it is important to understand “why” you are wanting the change, “what” that change will reap in benefits to that “inner” you..and that dream, goal or vision of yours has to be extraordinarily tangible..in other words, you can “touch, see, feel and hear” that new you in every fibre of your “being.”   You now believe that not only can you “do it” but in essence that you have already accomplished what you want.

And a note on discouragement, it is good to remember, that change isn’t a linear process. People move backwards and forwards through all of these stages, and true change can take from 21 days to 21 months or 21 years!

So, plan on those vitamin supplements, or that new exercise programme or that fabulous food plan lasting a lifetime. Then go out and get yourself some good support,  find  a respected friend or an  adhd coach  and follow their advice, surround yourself with your new environment, and reward yourself every day, for making those good choices.

Your thoughts?

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver” Mahatma Gandhi

Let me tell you a story.

I had a funny phone call yesterday morning…my mother inlaw from Brisbane phoned and said “I really don’t like those tablets you make me take…you and they make me very cross.”  My heart sank..Beth had been very unwell recently, and so, I had put her onto a regime of supplements for good nutritional health.  This hasn’t been an easy process, Beth doesn’t like exercise, however she has consented , with some reluctance, to “tweaking” other areas of her life…Beth is in her eighties, and had spent a week in hospital when she last visited with us…So, in trepidation I asked why?  “Well” she said, I have had so much energy and have spent so much time in the garden digging a trench for a new hedge, that I have hurt my back!” This is quite a different story from a month or so ago, when Beth had no energy, was constantly tired and struggling with what looked like small mini strokes.

Why is it that we spend, with very little thought, much of our wealth (time, $$, emotional energy) on tending to illness and other life problems, which could, with a little thought, and effort be prevented?

Why is our focus so often on the reparative, and not on preparing and building our health and consequently our wealth?

Last night, I was fortunate to be in the company of a group of people, who so passionately believe in living “well” lives well…from the best nutritional health education, to those strategies and techniques that will help us live rich and “vital” lives.

And the good news? We can all do something to live better lives, whether it be looking and “being” more vital, being more productive, playing more and having more memories.

We all have a vested interest in preventing those problems that come with not being truly well. With modern health practices, it is likely that many  people will live into their nineties and beyond.  And how awful that would be, if we aren’t well, fit and active in those years.

Stephen R. Covey, author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, proposes that we want to “live, love, learn and leave a legacy”. As Joseph Chang PhD writes, “we can’t do this if we are struggling to survive. If we don’t have the physical, mental and emotional capacity to thrive in life.”

So, what are you doing for your physical, mental and emotional wealth? How are you going about building the “business” of your life?

Abraham Lincoln wrote…“And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years.”

Would you like to know more about being being passionately vibrantly well?   If so,  contact me  and lets explore how you can live a better life….

]]> http://www.susanmacintosh.com/living-life-well/feed/ 0 http://www.susanmacintosh.com/beginning-middles-and-endings/ http://www.susanmacintosh.com/beginning-middles-and-endings/#comments Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:47:39 +0000 admin http://www.susanmacintosh.com/?p=413

How can we learn to participate in all parts of a task or project?

We are in the beginning of a New Year.  In the Rocky Mountains, the flowers and grasses are no longer vibrant or alive.  They sleep under a blanket of snow; and in the winter months, we look forward to a new beginning in the Spring when life returns to the meadows and the hills.  As January passes, it’s a time of thinking about new beginnings and new life.  The Romans named the month January after the god, Janus, whose two heads represented both reflecting the past and looking forward to the future.

What does the time and the term mean to the neurodiverse brain?   If we haven’t given up on New Year’s Resolutions in despair, it is always exciting to look ahead and make great plans for the improvement of our lives and habits.  My new clients complete our first session with a new sense of commitment,  and  a resolve in their hearts to take on the strategies and goals that we’ve discussed.  Often times, putting that thought into action and following through with a well thought out plan is more difficult than my client had imagined it would be.

So, what is this all about?  I would suggest that it is possibly the manner in which that unique and sometimes confusing neurodiverse brain operates.  A colleague of mine who works extensively those identified as having ADHD characteristics often states that everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end; but middles and endings seem tough for her clients.  Beginnings are new and exciting.  Middles and endings tend to seem tedious, AND our brains are constantly looking for NEW stimulation.  Following through seems a bit stale in comparison.

Difficulties with middles and endings cause much stress in the life of my clients.  Unfinished tasks and projects create stress at home, at work, and in relationships.  Clutter accumulates, bills don’t get paid, and paperwork turns into piles of overwhelm. How can we overcome this dilemma and draw closure to our beginnings?

There are three effective strategies that I support clients in utilizing:

• Establish a delicious reward for yourself at the completion (ending) of your task.
• Focus your thoughts on just how delicious that reward is going to be and remind yourself that you are doing this so that you can indulge  a pleasurable activity.
• Create a simple script for the conversation you will have in your head.  “I will return this  item to it’s home”.  “I will put the letter in the mailbox”.  “I will return my desk/workspace/ kitchen to it’s original sense of order.”

I assure you, dear reader, that you can have “happy endings” to your tasks.  And DO ENJOY your reward.

Kay Axtell, MA, SCAC

 
You can read more from Kay at her site:

www.addcoachingforlife.com

Susan will be the guest on Dr. Susan Hickman’s web-radio program on January 19th, 2012 – be sure to tune in and catch the show live! (or bookmark it for later and stream a replay of the show!)

Glen Hogard is a “Founding Father” of ADHD Coaching…and we are delighted that he has written for  us today. Thanks Glen…and we look forward to having Glen share more of his wisdom with us from “time to time”.

Glen writes….

I feel it now.  It’s only the 19^th of December, but my mind is already manufacturing anxiety in anticipation of decreasing structure and increasing variables  (thank you Chuck Parker  for the framing).  I did a bit of searching after being asked to write an article on ADHD and the holidays with the purpose of lessening the increased stress for those with the “trash basket” diagnosis of ADHD.

I use the term, “trash basket”, for the diagnosis taught me by a friend, Thom Hartmann, because there is no single thing that truly defines the ADHD diagnosis as it is now applied. If it’s not “this” and it’s not “that” and the person presents a certain way, then it must be ADHD so it’s tossed into the ADHD (trash) basket.  Yes, it’s sorted like so much recycled material into glass, paper, or metal, but no one basket is the same.  All of us are different, yet similar in a recognisable way.

It is not the case that every person with ADHD has more difficulty coping with “the holidays” than any other person.  But it does seem to be that those who react negatively to increased complications and variables, generally have more difficulty, and as a group, ADHD – brained people fall into that category.

For convenience and a generally descriptive handle let’s refer to these people as laterally thinking or “laterals” as opposed to the majority of the population who can be loosely classed by comparison as linear thinkers, or “linears”.  It’s not necessary to go into a careful definition of characteristics of people in these two categories.  The people reading this article will know what I mean by those terms.

Also, for brevity’s sake, I’m going to jump right into the symptoms and solutions or accommodations that can be made by the laterals, to buffer the stress caused by the real or perceived chaos, that many feel during any gathering of the family, but most especially the winter solstice holidays including Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.

Practice Extreme Self Care

More than any other advice or tip possible, paying extra attention to the situations, conditions, or feelings that cause laterals to become overloaded, overtired, hungry, angry, or overwhelmed in any way, is the one thing within our power that can serve us best.  Practising extreme self care is the most powerful way to insure we have the best possible holiday experience with the fewest negative consequences.

Those four words, practice extreme self care, are easy to say, but oh so difficult to put into practice.  If we fail to maintain some sort of balance between the demands put on us by others, by situations beyond our control, or most devious, those expectations we place on ourselves: often unconsciously we can become overwhelmed.  The damnable irony is whenever there is a battle between the conscious and unconscious, the unconscious always wins: always.  So we normally have no defense in those situations.

It’s because self-imposed stress is unconscious that it will “blindside” you.  You think you are prepared for Uncle Farquhar to get drunk again and say or do something that will make you wish you were a thousand miles away, but when it happens, your emotions suddenly go from 0 to 1000 in an instant and you feel out of control.  Or someone may ask you to help or do that “one more thing” which suddenly, in an instant, sends you reeling out of control with feelings of being overwhelmed. It may be the crowd of people, the rapidly changing situations, or having to deal with all the strange personalities, conflicts and emotions surrounding you that send your mind reeling.  There may be forgotten bad memories or family feuds, creating icy stares between people around you and there you are, in the middle, caught in the crossfire verbally or physically feeling very uncomfortable.

This is the time you wish, as Steve Martin used to put it, you could “get small”. You feel out of control; unable to think clearly and unable to rationally deal with whatever situation surrounds you be it personal or an icy atmosphere in the room generally. This is the time to act: to put into action your pre-planned escape!

“What do I mean, escape,” you ask?  “I can’t escape – I’m trapped and rapidly losing it!”

One phrase; taught me at OFI over a decade ago – “Boggle Space” can save you. This is a space, hopefully pre-planned, where you can go quickly by excusing yourself immediately before overwhelm morphs into out of control.  This boggle space could be a restroom, a bedroom, the backyard, your car, or anywhere you can be alone.

While there, take steps to actively calm down.  Take some deep breaths, relax as much as possible and generally take five to ten minutes to gather your thoughts and emotions so you can re-enter the group situation calmly with a plan to deal with a situation which a few minutes earlier had sent you over the edge of control or comfort.

Maybe it was a situation which had been too much to handle and had perhaps paralysed you into inaction, or it might have driven you to the verge of a wild outburst of emotion, which in other times would have left you embarrassed or feeling guilty for overacting inappropriately; seemingly out of control.

Those normal reactions to your experience of overwhelming stress would have verified to those who know you, that you have a brain difference; made all the more real by your overreaction.  This serves to validate their perception of you as  the “identified patient” or the one with that “weirdness” of the ADHD person in the family. Of course, many of them don’t realise that it’s genetic and that there is a good chance that they themselves might have similar brain chemistry.  The irony is, what they hate most in themselves, they project onto you and are then emotionally free to hate it in you. Psychologists call this projection.

Almost by default, gatherings of a family with ADHD genes present, many of them undiagnosed and untreated, will have those situations and people who are a bit on the extremes of behaviour.  We do extremes very well.  That can be a good thing but at holiday time usually not.

My point is this: once you’ve taken the usual steps to reduce the demands on yourself as best you can, (i.e. not cooking the entire holiday dinner, not comparing this holiday to the fantasy one of youth which never really happened the way we have idealised it) and have set some healthy boundaries whatever they may be, you may still find yourself caught in one of those startle response moments when you are caught off guard like the deer in the headlights: unable to move or think.

This is when you put your plan into action, excuse yourself for a moment and pull it back together:  head for bathroom, bedroom, car or other solitary quiet space.  Then you can re emerge refreshed with a plan to move on to a less stressful conversation, address the situation intelligently, or return with your calm center intact; ready to remain non-reactive instead of over reactive.  In the final analysis, everyone will benefit.

Glen

Glen Hogard – 2011

Several times in the past couple of weeks, several students and clients have come to me, trying to work out, even though they had put in huge amounts of effort, why their marks or projects weren’t as they had expected them to be.
Have you ever put effort and energy into something, hoping for a desired result – whether studying for a test, working on a project, doing a task at work or at home – and you didn’t get results equal to the time and effort you put in?
By discovering how you process information, your unique processing styles, you will learn how to approach things differently and identify strategies for successful outcomes.  A good little resource or tool , which you can access on line, for minimal cost, is a personal inventory called the ACKTIVV™ Processing Styles Indicator©.
It may just help you to understand the way that you learn, and by doing so, you will be curious to see that, in time, you will  become more successful  at what you are now attempting to achieve!

Kay Axtell has graciously offered to contribute from time to time for this blog site. Kay’s special gift and passion is with adhd coaching and education..Thanks Kay for joining us.

“Ah, December. A warm, magical, and very BUSY month for those of us who choose to participate in the madness and the celebration of the holidays. As I dash from place to place taking care of client business, shopping, and enjoying the lights and decorations that surround me, I think about the gift and the challenge that this season brings to the neuro diverse population of the world.

cc. bwhistler

For the mind that is easily bored, there is no end to stimulation and activity. Lights twinkle from store fronts and homes. Parties and socializing abound. Tinsel and sparkle and glitter grace the glass case that houses baked good in my favorite coffee shop. Seemingly goal-oriented people are frantically dashing from place to place and from store to store.

I remember days when this frantic time of the years was a total adrenalin rush for me….and the sparkle and the magic were everywhere. It was even more of a rush when I waited until the last minute to complete most of my shopping and projects. I sensed an extra spurt of energy and I seemed to be “high” on the entire aspect until……..Christmas morning when I collapsed under the tree, too tired to really enjoy Christmas Day..

Today, my holidays are a little different. I do make lists with time lines. I do projects one chunk at a time. I’m OK with dropping items from my list if completing them might interfere with a good night’s sleep. I now experience the magic AND the serenity of the season.

The season can be a REAL test for those with the unique gifts and challenges of ADD/ADHD. There is probably not a better time of the year to put into play the strategies that work . As my gift to you, I would like to offer the following ingredients for a successful holiday.

When you are planning a project, make certain you have everything you need for the activity.
Eat healthy. Don’t forget to purchase protein, fruits, and veggies as well as holiday treats.
Don’t give up on your exercise (it reduces the waistline and it reduces stress).
Double or triple estimated time for errand. Remember that traffic and parking are often an issue at this time of year)

First and foremost, find an island of calm where you can retreat from the extra stimulation and activity of the season. A walk in the crystal snow, a few hours at the beach, an evening of seeing the lights, or perhaps a nice cup of tea in your own safe haven. My personal experience, and one I’m currently sharing with clients is the fact that the brain is “defogged” when breaks from tasks are given and especially when those breaks include a particular activity that is soothing to the senses.

I’m learning that a combination of linear activity (making lists, chunking projects, scheduling activities and allowing extra time for tasks, eliminating some things from the project list, and reviewing “to do items” several times a day) AND free flowing spontaneity (pleasuring the senses with things that bring you joy, taking time and space just to breathe and reflect, engaging in a specific craft that brings you joy like cooking, photography, exercises or sports) bring balance and productivity to the lifestyle of the neuro diverse.

And so, I leave you with this recipe for the most meaningful of holidays. Add a little spice and a ton of tranquillity to your holiday season this year.

Have a joyful season!
Kay Axtell, MA, SCAC, ADD Life Coach

Kay can be contacted either via this web site or at http://www.addcoachingforlife.com

This short post is not so much about adhd in particular, it is more to do with a philosophical bent. The relevance of dissociating ourselves from a dominant left brain thinking world, to allow deep “thought processing” or lateral thinking or problem solving to occur.

We, in the adhd world, are often quick to claim that we have more right brain dominant thinking patterns..and that is why we don’t so neatly fit in to our current schooling and work places. Is this truly so?

But what relevance does right brain thinking have to do with our world? Frank Lloyd Wright, eminent architect, at the end of his life, felt that the advance of science to the exclusion or diminishing of right brain thinking, was of great detriment to our society. Certainly, other noted philosophers in recent times have echoed his thoughts.

Are you interested in how you think or how you come to conclusions. Have you ever wondered why you think the way you think? Or how it is that one person can be called a left brain or right brain thinker?  What does it all mean anyway?

Is there  a real difference between the right and left hemispheres in the brain?  And, if so, what is that difference. If we were to understand the paradox of the hemispheres of the brain, would it really help us? How would it help us?

Within the world of NLP coaching, disassociating left brain thinking and allowing right brain thinking to dominate, helps with integrating new thought processes and the finding of solutions to complex problems. In this way, it sometimes “feels” to me, that adhd thinking is similar in a way to right brain thought processing.

I have no proof nor any peer reviewed evidence to show you, however, in this cartoon animated video clip renowned psychiatrist and writer Iain McGilchrist explains how our ‘divided brain’ has profoundly altered human behaviour, culture and society.  This video clip was taken from a lecture given by Iain McGilchrist as part of the RSA’s free public events programme.

Maybe this has nothing to do with the adhd brain in particular..however, I feel that it is an interesting discussion never the less. What are your thoughts? I would be interested to know.