How can we learn to participate in all parts of a task or project?

We are in the beginning of a New Year.  In the Rocky Mountains, the flowers and grasses are no longer vibrant or alive.  They sleep under a blanket of snow; and in the winter months, we look forward to a new beginning in the Spring when life returns to the meadows and the hills.  As January passes, it’s a time of thinking about new beginnings and new life.  The Romans named the month January after the god, Janus, whose two heads represented both reflecting the past and looking forward to the future.

What does the time and the term mean to the neurodiverse brain?   If we haven’t given up on New Year’s Resolutions in despair, it is always exciting to look ahead and make great plans for the improvement of our lives and habits.  My new clients complete our first session with a new sense of commitment,  and  a resolve in their hearts to take on the strategies and goals that we’ve discussed.  Often times, putting that thought into action and following through with a well thought out plan is more difficult than my client had imagined it would be.

So, what is this all about?  I would suggest that it is possibly the manner in which that unique and sometimes confusing neurodiverse brain operates.  A colleague of mine who works extensively those identified as having ADHD characteristics often states that everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end; but middles and endings seem tough for her clients.  Beginnings are new and exciting.  Middles and endings tend to seem tedious, AND our brains are constantly looking for NEW stimulation.  Following through seems a bit stale in comparison.

Difficulties with middles and endings cause much stress in the life of my clients.  Unfinished tasks and projects create stress at home, at work, and in relationships.  Clutter accumulates, bills don’t get paid, and paperwork turns into piles of overwhelm. How can we overcome this dilemma and draw closure to our beginnings?

There are three effective strategies that I support clients in utilizing:

• Establish a delicious reward for yourself at the completion (ending) of your task.
• Focus your thoughts on just how delicious that reward is going to be and remind yourself that you are doing this so that you can indulge  a pleasurable activity.
• Create a simple script for the conversation you will have in your head.  “I will return this  item to it’s home”.  “I will put the letter in the mailbox”.  “I will return my desk/workspace/ kitchen to it’s original sense of order.”

I assure you, dear reader, that you can have “happy endings” to your tasks.  And DO ENJOY your reward.

Kay Axtell, MA, SCAC

 
You can read more from Kay at her site:

www.addcoachingforlife.com

Susan will be the guest on Dr. Susan Hickman’s web-radio program on January 19th, 2012 – be sure to tune in and catch the show live! (or bookmark it for later and stream a replay of the show!)

Glen Hogard is a “Founding Father” of ADHD Coaching…and we are delighted that he has written for  us today. Thanks Glen…and we look forward to having Glen share more of his wisdom with us from “time to time”.

Glen writes….

I feel it now.  It’s only the 19^th of December, but my mind is already manufacturing anxiety in anticipation of decreasing structure and increasing variables  (thank you Chuck Parker  for the framing).  I did a bit of searching after being asked to write an article on ADHD and the holidays with the purpose of lessening the increased stress for those with the “trash basket” diagnosis of ADHD.

I use the term, “trash basket”, for the diagnosis taught me by a friend, Thom Hartmann, because there is no single thing that truly defines the ADHD diagnosis as it is now applied. If it’s not “this” and it’s not “that” and the person presents a certain way, then it must be ADHD so it’s tossed into the ADHD (trash) basket.  Yes, it’s sorted like so much recycled material into glass, paper, or metal, but no one basket is the same.  All of us are different, yet similar in a recognisable way.

It is not the case that every person with ADHD has more difficulty coping with “the holidays” than any other person.  But it does seem to be that those who react negatively to increased complications and variables, generally have more difficulty, and as a group, ADHD – brained people fall into that category.

For convenience and a generally descriptive handle let’s refer to these people as laterally thinking or “laterals” as opposed to the majority of the population who can be loosely classed by comparison as linear thinkers, or “linears”.  It’s not necessary to go into a careful definition of characteristics of people in these two categories.  The people reading this article will know what I mean by those terms.

Also, for brevity’s sake, I’m going to jump right into the symptoms and solutions or accommodations that can be made by the laterals, to buffer the stress caused by the real or perceived chaos, that many feel during any gathering of the family, but most especially the winter solstice holidays including Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.

Practice Extreme Self Care

More than any other advice or tip possible, paying extra attention to the situations, conditions, or feelings that cause laterals to become overloaded, overtired, hungry, angry, or overwhelmed in any way, is the one thing within our power that can serve us best.  Practising extreme self care is the most powerful way to insure we have the best possible holiday experience with the fewest negative consequences.

Those four words, practice extreme self care, are easy to say, but oh so difficult to put into practice.  If we fail to maintain some sort of balance between the demands put on us by others, by situations beyond our control, or most devious, those expectations we place on ourselves: often unconsciously we can become overwhelmed.  The damnable irony is whenever there is a battle between the conscious and unconscious, the unconscious always wins: always.  So we normally have no defense in those situations.

It’s because self-imposed stress is unconscious that it will “blindside” you.  You think you are prepared for Uncle Farquhar to get drunk again and say or do something that will make you wish you were a thousand miles away, but when it happens, your emotions suddenly go from 0 to 1000 in an instant and you feel out of control.  Or someone may ask you to help or do that “one more thing” which suddenly, in an instant, sends you reeling out of control with feelings of being overwhelmed. It may be the crowd of people, the rapidly changing situations, or having to deal with all the strange personalities, conflicts and emotions surrounding you that send your mind reeling.  There may be forgotten bad memories or family feuds, creating icy stares between people around you and there you are, in the middle, caught in the crossfire verbally or physically feeling very uncomfortable.

This is the time you wish, as Steve Martin used to put it, you could “get small”. You feel out of control; unable to think clearly and unable to rationally deal with whatever situation surrounds you be it personal or an icy atmosphere in the room generally. This is the time to act: to put into action your pre-planned escape!

“What do I mean, escape,” you ask?  “I can’t escape – I’m trapped and rapidly losing it!”

One phrase; taught me at OFI over a decade ago – “Boggle Space” can save you. This is a space, hopefully pre-planned, where you can go quickly by excusing yourself immediately before overwhelm morphs into out of control.  This boggle space could be a restroom, a bedroom, the backyard, your car, or anywhere you can be alone.

While there, take steps to actively calm down.  Take some deep breaths, relax as much as possible and generally take five to ten minutes to gather your thoughts and emotions so you can re-enter the group situation calmly with a plan to deal with a situation which a few minutes earlier had sent you over the edge of control or comfort.

Maybe it was a situation which had been too much to handle and had perhaps paralysed you into inaction, or it might have driven you to the verge of a wild outburst of emotion, which in other times would have left you embarrassed or feeling guilty for overacting inappropriately; seemingly out of control.

Those normal reactions to your experience of overwhelming stress would have verified to those who know you, that you have a brain difference; made all the more real by your overreaction.  This serves to validate their perception of you as  the “identified patient” or the one with that “weirdness” of the ADHD person in the family. Of course, many of them don’t realise that it’s genetic and that there is a good chance that they themselves might have similar brain chemistry.  The irony is, what they hate most in themselves, they project onto you and are then emotionally free to hate it in you. Psychologists call this projection.

Almost by default, gatherings of a family with ADHD genes present, many of them undiagnosed and untreated, will have those situations and people who are a bit on the extremes of behaviour.  We do extremes very well.  That can be a good thing but at holiday time usually not.

My point is this: once you’ve taken the usual steps to reduce the demands on yourself as best you can, (i.e. not cooking the entire holiday dinner, not comparing this holiday to the fantasy one of youth which never really happened the way we have idealised it) and have set some healthy boundaries whatever they may be, you may still find yourself caught in one of those startle response moments when you are caught off guard like the deer in the headlights: unable to move or think.

This is when you put your plan into action, excuse yourself for a moment and pull it back together:  head for bathroom, bedroom, car or other solitary quiet space.  Then you can re emerge refreshed with a plan to move on to a less stressful conversation, address the situation intelligently, or return with your calm center intact; ready to remain non-reactive instead of over reactive.  In the final analysis, everyone will benefit.

Glen

Glen Hogard – 2011

Several times in the past couple of weeks, several students and clients have come to me, trying to work out, even though they had put in huge amounts of effort, why their marks or projects weren’t as they had expected them to be.
Have you ever put effort and energy into something, hoping for a desired result – whether studying for a test, working on a project, doing a task at work or at home – and you didn’t get results equal to the time and effort you put in?
By discovering how you process information, your unique processing styles, you will learn how to approach things differently and identify strategies for successful outcomes.  A good little resource or tool , which you can access on line, for minimal cost, is a personal inventory called the ACKTIVV™ Processing Styles Indicator©.
It may just help you to understand the way that you learn, and by doing so, you will be curious to see that, in time, you will  become more successful  at what you are now attempting to achieve!

Kay Axtell has graciously offered to contribute from time to time for this blog site. Kay’s special gift and passion is with adhd coaching and education..Thanks Kay for joining us.

“Ah, December. A warm, magical, and very BUSY month for those of us who choose to participate in the madness and the celebration of the holidays. As I dash from place to place taking care of client business, shopping, and enjoying the lights and decorations that surround me, I think about the gift and the challenge that this season brings to the neuro diverse population of the world.

cc. bwhistler

For the mind that is easily bored, there is no end to stimulation and activity. Lights twinkle from store fronts and homes. Parties and socializing abound. Tinsel and sparkle and glitter grace the glass case that houses baked good in my favorite coffee shop. Seemingly goal-oriented people are frantically dashing from place to place and from store to store.

I remember days when this frantic time of the years was a total adrenalin rush for me….and the sparkle and the magic were everywhere. It was even more of a rush when I waited until the last minute to complete most of my shopping and projects. I sensed an extra spurt of energy and I seemed to be “high” on the entire aspect until……..Christmas morning when I collapsed under the tree, too tired to really enjoy Christmas Day..

Today, my holidays are a little different. I do make lists with time lines. I do projects one chunk at a time. I’m OK with dropping items from my list if completing them might interfere with a good night’s sleep. I now experience the magic AND the serenity of the season.

The season can be a REAL test for those with the unique gifts and challenges of ADD/ADHD. There is probably not a better time of the year to put into play the strategies that work . As my gift to you, I would like to offer the following ingredients for a successful holiday.

When you are planning a project, make certain you have everything you need for the activity.
Eat healthy. Don’t forget to purchase protein, fruits, and veggies as well as holiday treats.
Don’t give up on your exercise (it reduces the waistline and it reduces stress).
Double or triple estimated time for errand. Remember that traffic and parking are often an issue at this time of year)

First and foremost, find an island of calm where you can retreat from the extra stimulation and activity of the season. A walk in the crystal snow, a few hours at the beach, an evening of seeing the lights, or perhaps a nice cup of tea in your own safe haven. My personal experience, and one I’m currently sharing with clients is the fact that the brain is “defogged” when breaks from tasks are given and especially when those breaks include a particular activity that is soothing to the senses.

I’m learning that a combination of linear activity (making lists, chunking projects, scheduling activities and allowing extra time for tasks, eliminating some things from the project list, and reviewing “to do items” several times a day) AND free flowing spontaneity (pleasuring the senses with things that bring you joy, taking time and space just to breathe and reflect, engaging in a specific craft that brings you joy like cooking, photography, exercises or sports) bring balance and productivity to the lifestyle of the neuro diverse.

And so, I leave you with this recipe for the most meaningful of holidays. Add a little spice and a ton of tranquillity to your holiday season this year.

Have a joyful season!
Kay Axtell, MA, SCAC, ADD Life Coach

Kay can be contacted either via this web site or at http://www.addcoachingforlife.com

This short post is not so much about adhd in particular, it is more to do with a philosophical bent. The relevance of dissociating ourselves from a dominant left brain thinking world, to allow deep “thought processing” or lateral thinking or problem solving to occur.

We, in the adhd world, are often quick to claim that we have more right brain dominant thinking patterns..and that is why we don’t so neatly fit in to our current schooling and work places. Is this truly so?

But what relevance does right brain thinking have to do with our world? Frank Lloyd Wright, eminent architect, at the end of his life, felt that the advance of science to the exclusion or diminishing of right brain thinking, was of great detriment to our society. Certainly, other noted philosophers in recent times have echoed his thoughts.

Are you interested in how you think or how you come to conclusions. Have you ever wondered why you think the way you think? Or how it is that one person can be called a left brain or right brain thinker?  What does it all mean anyway?

Is there  a real difference between the right and left hemispheres in the brain?  And, if so, what is that difference. If we were to understand the paradox of the hemispheres of the brain, would it really help us? How would it help us?

Within the world of NLP coaching, disassociating left brain thinking and allowing right brain thinking to dominate, helps with integrating new thought processes and the finding of solutions to complex problems. In this way, it sometimes “feels” to me, that adhd thinking is similar in a way to right brain thought processing.

I have no proof nor any peer reviewed evidence to show you, however, in this cartoon animated video clip renowned psychiatrist and writer Iain McGilchrist explains how our ‘divided brain’ has profoundly altered human behaviour, culture and society.  This video clip was taken from a lecture given by Iain McGilchrist as part of the RSA’s free public events programme.

Maybe this has nothing to do with the adhd brain in particular..however, I feel that it is an interesting discussion never the less. What are your thoughts? I would be interested to know.

Do you ever have times when you just get “stuck”..that is when you have “writers block”, or “programmers block”, situational agitation or temporary emotions you just can’t shake off?  Maybe little annoyances that are ruining your day?  For me, this is something that I often hear my clients talk about. It can be a big part of our adhd world.

NLP trainer, Hugh Comerford of NLP Centres Canada, has designed an exercise which literally gives your brain a “reboot” or “reset” And you can access this exercise at any time, that you feel the need. (and it is fun!  I dare you not to laugh as you follow through the instructions.)

So as Hugh says,

1. Surf on over to http://www.resetyourbrain.com     Adjust the print settings to print the page in a “Landscape” format, then print the page.
2. Tape the page to the wall at eye level.
3. Think through where you where you are now..your “stuck” point.
4. Holding your arms at 90 degrees facing the printout, while reading the alphabet (black letters) follow the instructions below each letter….Left arm raises  when you see an L under a letter, Right arm raises when you see an R under a letter, both arms raise together when you see a T under a letter.  (L = Left, R = Right , T = Together)
5. Read the alphabet from A to Y, then back from Y to A raising arms according to #4
6. 2^nd Phase: Same as the first except you include your opposite legs: Read the alphabet raising your : Left arm and Right foot when you see a L under a letter;  Right  arm AND left foot when you see an R under a letter…Jump and lift your arms when you see a T under a letter.  (remember  L = Left, R = Right, T = Together)
7. Read the alphabet from A to Y, then back from Y to A, raising arms and feet according to #6
8. When finished think through your “stuck state” and notice how you now feel differently about that situation.

Its such a fun exercise, produces great results and you can use it any time…and it is free.

The “alphabet” on the web site is constantly changing, so, each time you visit you will have a new experience.

Try it and let me know how you go.

I am very excited to be writing this post from Philadelphia, PA, where I am attending  the ADDA Board of Directors Retreat.  ADDA  is the premium support group for Adults with ADHD in the United States.

Interestingly, what ADDA decides to do, so do many other smaller support and advocacy  adhd communities world wide do as well.  Many other support groups use ADDA as a role model. If you belong to a smaller support group, and are looking for extra support for your Members, ADDA can be that valuable resource for your Members, wherever you are based in the world.

Over the past day, topics for discussion have included

• how to advocate for you in the workplace,

• how to raise the awareness of adhd and add’ish issues with family practitioners, and psychiatrists

• How to liaise with educators for the support of students, at tertiary level

• Public Policy and much more.

A good start for you would be to  become involved with and listen into the weekly educational webinars, which are packed full of relevant information from experts within the adhd community.  This is especially so, if you are feeling isolated, or want to listen in to the latest update on available resources and happenings.

(And btw I am delighted to announce that I have agreed to help Linda Roggli, with these weekly Webinars!  They are a wonderful resource, can be listened to at your leisure and past issues can be downloaded and listened to time and again)

Are you a Member?  If not, please do visit  ADDA and join now.

As the planning for 2012 takes place, I will keep you posted.

If you have a topic that you would like to bring to the attention of the Board, please write to me.  Your feedback and concerns are vital to developing increased and appropriate support for you.

  We have received a health warning from Health Canada regarding Strattera..in the interest of our client’s well being and general knowledge, we are happy to post this advice here. 

 However, we strongly advise you to contact your prescribing physician before making any changes to your current prescribed  medications.  

“As a subscriber to Health Canada’s MedEffectTM e-Notice, you are being informed of the latest Health Professional Communication and Public Communication.
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/dhp-mps/medeff/advisories-avis/prof/_2011/index-eng.php
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/dhp-mps/medeff/advisories-avis/public/_2011/index-eng.php

STRATTERA (atomoxetine) – Association with Increased Blood Pressure and Increased Heart Rate – Eli Lilly Canada Inc.

Eli Lilly Canada Inc., in collaboration with Health Canada, is notifying healthcare professionals, patients and their caregivers of important safety information from clinical studies regarding the risk of increased blood pressure and increased heart rate with the use of STRATTERA (atomoxetine), a drug indicated for treatment of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children and adults.”